Royal Baby Hysteria

I have never written about the Royal Family before. Even though there would have been several occasions since I moved to the United Kingdom of Great Britain, such as the Royal Wedding and the Diamond Jubilee. But this Royal Baby Hysteria is so insane that I need to write about it.

Channel 5 will (probably) be the first channel to show a documentary in regards to the baby announcement. It's supposed to air on Tuesday and has been sold already to Germany, Finland, Belgium, Canada, New Zealand, France and the US. Yesterday, I saw also a TV Researcher advertising herself for a documentary about hyperemesis gravidarum (the reason why Kate is in the hospital at the moment), because she used to have the same symptoms when she was pregnant. I have also read speculations about where and when Kate has conceived and when Pippa will get pregnant etc. 

But one of the craziest things I read was that manufacturers are already producing Royal Baby Souvenirs, such as mugs which say "A royal baby in 2013". I really don't wanna be in her shoes. Apparently she is less than 12 weeks pregnant and we all know that something could happen quite easily during these first weeks. And I'm pretty sure all this pressure doesn't help either.

Has it really come that far?

LOL and other confusions, err acronyms

Do you remember earlier this year when Rebecca Brooks had to testify at the Leveson Inquiry and she caused amusement by revealing that Mr Cameron signed some of his texts LOL, thinking it meant Lots Of Love, rather than Laugh Out Loud. And then Ed Miliband picked it up:

Well, it seems like David Cameron is not alone here. Many of my English friends say their mums were making the same mistake. Malicious gossip has it that LOL actually means Lack of Language, though.

But while older acronym users get confused about the actual meaning, youngsters use it even literally. If you are a super cool English teenager nowadays you don't laugh anymore instead you just say "Oh, I LOL". Seriously!

On that note:
OMG, FYI am AFK now, because GG, but BBL, BFN!
If you don't know what I'm saying, here is the solution: http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Chat-Acronyms

Portsmouth & Southsea

I spent last weekend in Portsmouth & Southsea and fell in love with the English Seaside.
Of course, you knew already that the Isle of Wight, which is only a short boat ride away, is an island, but did you know that Portsmouth is the United Kingdom's only island city?
It is also well-known for being a naval town. After arriving, I went on a boat tour across the harbour and saw famous ships, including the HMS Warrior and the Tudor carrack Mary Rose. One of the most impressive ships is Lord Nelson's HMS Victory, though:

 

Women were not allowed on a ship 200 years ago anyway, but I can assure you I would have not even lasted 2 days on that ship. It was so low, I could hardly stand upright, they ate in the dark, so they didn't see any maggots (yuck), they washed their clothes in their own err pee, if your leg was hurt they amputated it right on the ship (you can even see the tools a doctor used). 

If you want your own piece of history, go to the antique shop at the Historic Dockyard. You can buy helmets from WW1 and WW2 or a knight's armour or a diving helmet from the last century. It is definitely a collection of curiosities:

On a sunny afternoon, there is nothing better than a stroll along the beachfront. One of the most important landmarks of a seaside town is the Pier, so make sure you pay a visit to the fun fair at Clarence Pier and treat yourself with a rock. For all non-British people that's not a stone, but a candy.

If you still don't believe that Portsmouth is mainly an island, go up to Portsdown Hill and enjoy the view:

Docklands

Last weekend I moved to the American part of London: Canary Wharf. With the UK's tallest buildings, the Docklands Light Railway, and the surrounding water, it reminds me a lot of NYC.

Canary Wharf is in the heart of the Docklands and it is built on the site of the old West India Docks on the Isle of Dogs. From 1802 to 1980, the area was one of the busiest docks in the world, with goods imported from all over the world. Nowadays, it is home to the world or European headquarters of numerous major banks, professional services firms and media organisations such as Barclays, Citigroup, Credit Suisse, J.P. Morgan, Thomson Reuters etc. The tallest building is One Canada Square. It is 800 feet tall and has 50 floors making it the tallest building in Britain. 

Every morning when I take the DLR I am fascinated by all these business women wearing designer suits and when you look further down, you see they combine them with trainers. Another thing that fascinates me is the underground shopping centre. It's like on the surface Canary Wharf only exists of skyscrapers, bridges and water and underground you do all your shopping and have restaurants and bars. 

Next thing I wanna check out here is Trinity Buoy Wharf - Docklands' most exciting arts quarter. This former buoy manufacturing site now houses shipping containers that have been turned into studio space for 350 artists and creative businesses. It has become an exciting arts and creative industries quarter in the Docklands and hosts art exhibitions and productions: http://trinitybuoywharf.com/

Portobello Market in Notting Hill

Do you remember how Hugh Grant walks down Portobello Road Market in "Notting Hill" on his way to his bookshop where he meets Julia Roberts? Aww, I thought of that famous movie scene yesterday when I went to Portobello Market. 

The world's largest Antiques Market takes place since the early 1870s and is best described as very colourful and lively Antiques, Fruit and Vegetable, Secondhand, and Jewellery Market:

But you can not only buy things there, you can also discover new musicians. Yesterday, there was a quite impressive opera singer, and a couple of months ago, I discovered "The Robbie Boyd Band":

You can also indulge in various delicious sweets there. For example, I had a massive Raspberry and Champagne Marshmallow yesterday, and you shouldn't miss out on a cupcake from the http://hummingbirdbakery.com/

Notting Hill in general is an interesting area - not only the market.
In Victorian times, Notting Hill was a  rough working class area. In the 50s it was the scene of race riots. A second riot during the famous Notting Hill Carnival of 1976, actually inspired the Clash's punk anthem "White Riot". Within the past 30 years though, it has become a very popular and expensive area. I guess Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts also contributed to making it a fancied area.

Olympic and Paralympic Games

At first I was not excited at all about London 2012. I'm not really interested in watching sports, Transport for London spread panic about how the public transport system would collapse, tickets were too expensive anyway etc.

But then the Olympic Games arrived and surprisingly became personal and interesting. One of my friends participated in the opening ceremony, a guy from my hometown competed in the wheelchair table tennis competition, and all of a sudden, the olympic fire had even caught me:

I decided to get a ticket for the Paralympics and chose my favourite sport: dressage.
It was an early morning session, but the volunteers who guided us to the venue were all in such a great mood and danced and sang while leading the way. I really have to say all these volunteers impressed me so much. I heard that they had a course on American friendliness. I don't know if that's true, but they definitely transformed London for a couple of weeks to a friendlier place.
But what impressed me the most were the athletes participating in the Paralympic Games. Most of the equestrians had their disability from a horse-riding accident. How brave and strong must you be to get back on a horse? One guy from Ireland had only one leg and still had his horse perfectly under control:

But I think you really start caring when you actually know somebody participating in the games. I have no interest in table tennis whatsoever, but I watched all games of the German paralympic team, because a guy from my hometown was playing for the German team. In the end they won silver and I was so proud.

I have to say London 2012 was a once in a lifetime event. I'm glad I could take part in it and I'm looking forward to Rio in 2016: http://rio2016.com/en

British Humour

I have been planning on writing about British humour for a while now, but didn't really know where to start, because it's such an important part of British behaviour. When it comes to humour, you have to keep in mind the Brits don't just tell a joke, they are full of wit. It's part of their mentality. 

It's particularly hard to get the British humour when you come from a country where people (stereotypically) have no sense of humour at all. In situations where we Germans rather remain silent, English people usually crack a joke, because they feel uncomfortable and have to compensate that by joking about it. Therefore, British humour tends to break taboos. Here is an example from Mock the Week:
"So, I saw the Saddam being executed. It made me think... is there nothing on the internet I won't masturbate to?" 

Another difference is that while in Germany slapstick humour is very popular, the funny side of British humour lies in puns. For example: "I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack! All that I said was 'Hi Jack', but very loud."

British comedians are omnipresent. When you turn on the TV, in every second entertainment show you have a comedian either as host or guest. British comedians such as Stephen Fry write also serious columns in newspapers, discuss political issues on TV and are also outside of TV politically involved. 
On contrary, British politicians behave as if they wanted to be comedians. Just have a look at these scenes from the House of Commons:

I'm still experiencing difficulties when it comes to British humour, so please don't be offended if you are British and I don't laugh about your jokes.

Theatre Delicatessen

Even more than New York, London is the theatre capital of the world. London's legendary West End Theatre scene is the finest in the world and with Shakespeare's Globe and the National Theatre at South Bank, these are the first addresses when it comes to theatre. 
But there are many more delicatessen. For example, in the "summer" months you should pay a visit to the Scoop at More London, close to Tower Bridge. It is an outdoor sunken amphitheatre with seating for 800 people. It hosts a variety of free events - from free theatre over free music to free films. I watched "The Trojan Horse" there last weekend and it was great. It's part of the magnificent Oresteia trilogy. If you want you can stay and also watch "Agamemnon" and "Orestes" - all in one night and for free. 

For more information, visit: http://www.morelondon.com/
As I mentioned, though, The Scoop at More London only exists throughout the "summer" months, and I discovered another pop-up arts venue this week: Marylebone Gardens. 
It's the old BBC London headquarters at Marylebone High Street which has become a hangout spot and workplace for artists until the building is redeveloped. Drop in during the day or evening and you'll find an indoor pleasure garden oasis with a bar and astroturf, plus a big screen which will sport highlights during the Olympics:

There are also lots of performances which you shouldn't miss. I enjoyed, for instance, songs about corporate social responsibility and nude beaches in NY, as well as poems about online dating.
So, check out their website : http://www.marylebone-gardens.co.uk/week3.php

Tube Etiquette

Yesterday, I went to a bookshop to buy a book about London and stumbled upon "The Little Book of Tube Etiquette" by Laura King. Without question, I had to read a bit in it. I have already learned not to stare at people on the tube, but there are many more unwritten rules. For example: Don't eat. Don't drink (except water). Don't make conversation with the person opposite, even if he/ she is a friend. Don't show affection. Don't laugh out loud.....

Uiuiui, I remember nights where I have broken all these rules:

I am sure each of us living in London knows a funny or annoying tube story (which might include pole-dancing girls). I particularly admire girls who put their make-up on in the morning. How do they do that when it's so bumpy? And it's always funny when you notice people reading in your free newspaper. Laura King suggests you move the newspaper slowly towards them as if you wanted to make it easier for them to read it. I might actually buy her book next time, just to learn "how to get a seat". 


P.S.: A friend of mine just sent me this "London 2012: A tourist's guide to the transport system": http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-18236508

Fancy Dresses

Last weekend I attended Zoo Lates. Every Friday night in June and July, London Zoo opens its doors after hours for a night out with a difference. The main difference was that there were not only animals inside the enclosures, but also outside:

Some of them even escaped and strayed around Camden Town: 

That really made me wonder about the English and their obsession with fancy dresses. I remember when I moved here a year ago I thought fancy dress equals a glamorous outfit, but learned very fast I misinterpreted that. English people like to dress up whenever possible: Halloween, Christmas, Hen/ Stag Parties, theme parties - even for the upcoming Olympics you can get a fancy dress here http://www.fancydress.com/costumes/

The only question is why? A German friend of mine argued the other day it's because they don't have Carnival. In Germany, we have several weeks where you can dress up in a different costume for every single Carnival's party. We even call it the 5th season and people go wild. Maybe that's why we wear normal clothes for the remaining 4 seasons and I'm surprised about the English fondness for fancy dresses.